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by M.T. COSTLEY
Summary: Santana Lopez is fighting a war in Iraq alongside her younger brother Puck. Both joined the marines and never planned on looking back. But what happens when a tragic event forces Santana to return home 4 years later? Will everyone open their arms to welcome her back? How about Brittany S. Pierce? The girl who unknowingly is her baby mama.
1. Chapter 1: Staff Sergeant

Author's Note:

So I decided to start a new story, because I just haven't been inspired to continue my last one just yet, which I will someday. But right now this story is definitely going to be my priority, because I have SO MANY ideas on where I want to go with it and what to write.

So I hope you guys enjoy it and please review.

REMINDER: The characters don't belong to me, they belong to Glee writers and creators. Only where I take them is my doing!

**SUMMARY: Santana Lopez is fighting a war in Iraq alongside her younger brother Puck. Both joined the marines and never planned on looking back. But what happens when a tragic event forces Santana to return home 4 years later? Will everyone open their arms to welcome her back? How about Brittany S. Pierce? The girl who unknowingly is her baby mama. GIRLPEEN SANTANA. **

**Chapter One: Staff Sergeant**

**Iraq: June 6, 2013 **

"So you still haven't received a letter from "Quinney Poo"? Asked one of the marines while walking along side another.

"No and shut up. I haven't called her that since like my senior year" Answered back the male marine, while shoving the female.

"Yeah which was just last year estúpido, meaning I'm still allowed to make fun of your lame ass for coming up with that retarded nickname!" Taunted Santana as she pulled the boys hat down so that it covered the front of his face.

"Hey!" Exclaimed Puck, pulling his hat back to its rightful place. "I'm not lame. In love is the correct term and don't be mad just cause I actually had the balls to act on my feelings and ended up landing the hottest girl in Lima, more then you ever did. "

"Now now kid don't go telling lies, because both of us knows that one of my balls is bigger than the both of yours combined, so I would put that tongue away baby bro. And sorry to break it to you but Quinn is not the hottest in all of Lima. Brittany is." Stated Santana, obviously.

"Is not!" Argued Puck hitting Santana's arm.

"Is to!" She countered back, hitting him as well.

"Is not!" Hit.

"Is to!" Hit.

"Is not times a million!" Hit.

"Is to times a billion!" Hit.

"Is not times a trillion!" Hit.

"Is to times infinity!" Hit "Ha nothing beats infinity Punkerman!" Taunted Santana shoving Puck away.

"Whatever. At least my girl never fucked me over." He mumbled, causing Santana to stop walking the trail.

"What was that Fuckerman?"

"Nothing Satan."

"Didn't sound like nothing, so repeat it Punk!" Demanded Santana while aggressively shoving Puck.

"No."

"Yes!" Shove.

"No"

"Yes!"

"Guys cut it out, we have to get back to base." Said Finn, another marine part of the squad.

"Shut it Nips I'm talking to my brother!" Yelled Santana, shutting down any kind of peacemaking he was hoping to accomplish. "Now Punkerman, tells me what you said. As your commanding officer I command you to!"

"Now that's bull shit Lopez. Stop always playing the "Higher Rank" card to get what you want from me, it's not fair and it isn't even relevant in this conversation." Groaned Puck, who was always being reminded that here, in Iraq, his sister was his boss.

"It's relevant whenever I say it is Fuckerman, I'm in command not you. I make the rules!" Reminded Santana.

"How can I ever forget? You remind every single one of us guys every fucking day! And we get it already! You're the youngest FEMALE to ever make Sergeant, congratu-fucking-lations! Next story please!" Snapped Puck, leaving everyone with their jaws dropped and silent. No one talked back to Sergeant Lopez, every single one of those men knew it and respected it as life. So to see someone do it with such little restraint or remorse; they were all in shock, including Santana.

"You little ungrateful shit!" Whisper-yelled Santana. "After all I've done for you and you raise your voice to me in front of my fellow Privates and Corporals. I will not tolerate that ever private! Here amongst these men and in this dessert you are not my brother and you get no special treatment! Here you are only PRIVATE Noah Puckerman Lopez! Are we clear on that Private?!" Asked Santana getting in Noah's face, looking him directly in the eyes.

"..."

"I asked are we clear Private?" Repeated Santana, refusing for her authority to be questioned or walked over, especially not by her younger brother in front of her squad.

"Yes." Growled Puck.

"Yes what Private?!" Prodded Santana, making a point out of him, and hopefully a lesson.

"Yes Staff Sergeant!"

"There. Now was that so hard private?" Santana asked rhetorically and tauntingly. "Now forward march! Back to base everyone! In formation now!" She commanded. And back to base they went, in perfect sync, with Santana leading from the front.

**Should I continue? Please Review and let me know what you guys think. **

**Thank you for reading! **

**-Love you all**


	2. Chapter 2: Believe

Author's Note:

This whole chapter is kind of like a Brittana flashback and is supposed to explain the dynamic of their relationship within this story and what they mean to each other and how they met. So I hope you guys enjoy. It's very Brittana filled, and is sort of my apology for taking so long to update.

**Chapter Two: Believe**

**Lima, Ohio: 2009**

"I can't believe your leaving me." Stated Brittany while lying her head on Santana's stomach, as the older girl softly stroked her fingers through her blonde hair.

"I'm not leaving you, I could never leave you, especially not by choice. I'm just going to be gone for a little while that's it. We both knew this day would come. Everyone has to graduate at some point, and when you do, we can finally start our lives together in New York just like we planned."

"It's not that easy though!" Stressed Brittany while sitting up and straddling Santana's lap.

"Not everyone graduates San and at this point I know I never will, especially with you no longer being here to basically do my homework for me. Even Quinn thinks so. I'm just too stupid for the world outside of high school." Brittany was now having trouble keeping her tears at bay and Santana was beginning to sense this.

"No you're not Britt-Britt!" Exclaimed Santana while sitting up so that she could look into Britney's eyes to really get her point across.

"You're a genius Brit and the world is just too far behind you to realize it right now. And as for graduating I know you will, because I'm going to do everything in my power to help you. There's no way I'm going to allow us to be apart any longer then we have to." Promised Santana.

"But how will you be able to help me? You're going to be in Louisville, in the real world, while I'm going to be the same old Lima Loser stuck in the eleventh grade!" The tears finally broke as Brittany began to realize the reality of their situation.

All her life Santana had been there for her, right by her side, ever since the day she had come to Brittany's rescue when Sam and Blaine had pushed her down and called her a stupid freak for walking such a fat cat on a leash and an even bigger one for claiming he talked and admitting that his name was Lord Tubington not "Fat Cat". Santana witnessing the ordeal and noticing the little girl was close to tears had seen enough, so she scared the two bullies off screaming that she would go all Lima Heights on their butts if they didn't help the girl up and leave her alone. Only being fourth graders, Sam and Blaine didn't even understand what her threat meant, but Santana was a sixth grader, and went to the "Big People School", so without any complaints they helped Brittany up and ran for the hills. This left a still dazed and frightened Brittany S. Pierce alone with a very intimidating Santana Lopez.

"Hey are you okay... Umm..." Santana trailed off not knowing the bully victims name.

"Brittany S. Pierce," she supplied almost in a whisper, still not knowing if Santana was truly her hero or just a bigger bully.

"Any relation to Britney Spears?" Santana tried to joke, still seeing some fear in Brittany's eyes.

"No, but I'm a really really big fan of hers. I ask my mommy and daddy for every album she makes." Brittany explained; beginning to relax seeing as Santana hasn't struck or made any moves to.

"Cool. I'm more of a Beyoncé girl myself, but Britney's cool too. I'm Santana by the way." She introduced herself while sticking her hand out for a handshake, just like she's seen her dad do with people he just met.

"That's a really pretty name." Complimented Brittany while tentatively reaching out to shake the offered hand. "Oh! I almost forgot. This is Lord Tubin-" Brittany was going to introduce her cat to her new found friend, something she rarely did for just anyone, especially this fast. But as she looked down she finally realized that Lord T was no longer by her side and must have been shaken up and ran off during her run in with Sam and Blaine.

"Oh my God my kitty! My kitten, he's gone Santana! Where is he?! Lord Tubington! Lord T!" Brittany frantically began to look around not seeing him anywhere. While the young girl continued to freak out all Santana could think about was what the freak was a Lord Tubington?

"Santana can you please help me find him? I just got him, so he doesn't know anyone. He's out there alone, probably afraid and scared for his life!" As the girl went on and on her pout got bigger and harder to resist making Santana's heart flutter; she defiantly couldn't say no to that face, ever.

They looked for Lord Tubington all day, finally finding him in the bushes of the house that belonged to one Lucy Quinn Fabray. Brittany being so relieved of Lord T's rescue, hugged Santana with all the strength her little body could muster while proclaiming Santana to be her hero. She had hugged her for so long that she missed the full faced blush that crept up Santana's face, all the way from her neck to her puffy checks. The feeling of being embraced by one Brittany S. Pierce had Santana feeling so far up in the clouds that she never wanted to come down, and starting from that day she knew that from there and on, she wanted nothing more than to be Brittany's hero for the rest of her life.

But now Brittany's hero was going off to college, she was graduating and finally escaping Lima, Ohio; something that Brittany wouldn't be able to accomplish for another two years, if ever. The situation was so hard to accept that Brittany just had to get away from the reminder of it all.

"I have to go San," said Brittany while trying to remove her girlfriend's grip from her waist "my mom wanted me home tonight so that I could look after Heather while she and dad go to some company dinner."

"Britt-Britt stop." Commanded Santana, tightening her hold on the younger girl's hips. "I know you don't have to go. It's Saturday, and you always stay over on Saturdays. Also I know Heather isn't even home, because all she could talk about Thursday and Friday was how excited she was for her sleep over with that weird kid Tina. So stop lying and just tell me the real reason for this escape you're trying to accomplish."

"First off, don't call Tina weird. That's bullying and I won't accept it," demanded Brittany, while waving her finger in front of the older girl's face to get her point across. "Plus she's like ten, so cut her some slack, she's still in the phase of trying to find herself and figure out who she is."

"Well what she needs to do is find some better acting skills, because that fake ass stutter of hers is getting old real quick." Joked Santana, but receiving zero laughs from Brittany, not even the slightest of smiles.

"Once again, she's only ten and my little sister's best friend so shut up!" Yelled Brittany while pushing Santana back against the bed, finally being able to stand up and out of the vice grip she was trapped in.

"Okay wow. Over react much?" Asked Santana, sitting up again. "Now I know this reaction and attitude isn't just about Tina and my name calling. So can we please just talk about what's really bothering you and why you're trying to run away from me?"

"There's nothing to talk about Santana, everything has already been said and done for me!"

"The fact that you just called me Santana tells me that we need to talk. So please just tell me Britt. I'm still here, you can still talk to me baby, about anything." Assured Santana while standing up to caress Brittany's cheek.

"Yeah but for how long Santana?!" Yelled Brittany, slapping the other girl's hand away. "How long will you be here for me? How long do we have left? A month? Two months? How much longer before you leave me, go off to college, and find someone else? Someone your own age, someone smarter than me, more experienced than me, better looking? Or someone who's actually doing something with their life?! You're abandoning me and there's nothing I can do to stop it! My world is ending and you just want me to carry on like we're the same, like things aren't changing for us, but I can't do that San! I can't continue to build or relationship when I feel like at any moment it's going to be ripped right from under me!" At this point Brittany had begun to breakdown into ugly sobs, barely able to get her words out; Santana had seen and heard enough.

"Baby please tell me that you don't honestly think that you're even somewhat replaceable in my life or in my heart." Begged Santana while grasping onto Brittany's waist and looking into her eyes.

Brittany could only remain silent, because at this point she was so filled with mixed emotions and felt so vulnerable that she didn't quite know what to believe at the moment.

"Baby I've known you for seven years out of my eighteen years of even existing, and I've loved you for all of those seven. Brit I fell in love with you more and more every year throughout those seven years. Heck, I was in love with you when we were too young to truly know what it all meant. No one can or ever will be able to replace that. There's only one Brittany S. Pierce in this world and she belongs to me and I belong to her, from day one until the end babe, remember? What did I say to you the first day we met, after you asked me if it could always be just you and I forever? What did I promise Britt" Asked Santana, whipping fallen tears from pale cheeks. "What did I promise?" She urged.

"You said that we start together, we end together, because we will always be each other's endgame." Brittany finally answered, her voice cracking due to all the crying she's been doing.

"Exactly babe. We started together; we started this amazing thing that very few people ever get to experience, especially this young. We are both one of the lucky few who actually find their soul mate Britt. You are my soul mate; I was destined to be with you, to find you and spend my entire life with you, and if you think I'm going to throw that away for some stupid graduation or some cheerleading scholarship to Louisville, then you're crazy. I love you Brittany S. Pierce and I'm going to marry you one day, and nothing or no one will ever take that away from us. We will end together. I believe it will all my heart and everything within me; do you?" Asked Santana while bringing Brittany's face up to lock eyes with her. "Do you believe it?"

Of course Brittany believed it with all she had too, but distance could make even the most believable things lose their fate, especially when that distance was 276 miles. But they were Brittany and Santana, if any two people could make it work it had to be them, because they were inevitable. This is why Brittany gave the only answer she knew in her heart was the right one, which was

"Yes. Yes San, I believe it. I believe that we will end together. I know we will." She proclaimed with a huge grin.

Santana could only match her grin with one of her own while wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist, tugging her forward, and kissing her with all she had.

"I love you Santana Lopez." She declared after the kiss broke.

"And I love you Brittany Pierce." Echoed Santana while picking the younger girl up and walking them to the bed. She was going to show her girl just how much she loved her and just how much she meant every word she spoke and every promise she made tonight.

But little did they both know that they were exchanging a lot more than just promises to stay together forever; they were unknowingly creating something that truly would last a lifetime and bond them together forever.

**So I hope you guys enjoyed reading the chapter and I hope it was long enough. I'm really trying to work on making them longer. **

**Please REVIEW.**

**-Love you all**


	3. Chapter 3: Love Letters

Author's Note:

This chapter is short, but I think that's what I'm going to start doing if that's okay with you guys. I've been thinking about making short chapters but quick updates. Does that sound okay?

I hope you guys enjoy reading and REVIEW because feedback is much welcomed.

And as for one review left by a "guest" I just want to say that yes my story is original so thank you for acknowledging my hard work, but I could have did without the sarcasm and insult to BRITTANA fans.

Anyway! Sorry for my rant guys. I'm done and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter Three: Love Letters**

**New York: Present Day**

"Santiago please stop pulling on mommy's hair or I'm going to have to put you down." The mother told her son as she continued her walk towards her mailbox, dreading the collection of this month's bills that she knew awaited her.

"No mommy! I stay up here!" Demanded the little blonde haired boy while snuggling farther into his mother's neck and tightening his hold on her shoulders.

"Okay. As long as you stop and start behaving baby" she appeased, trying to get him to loosen his death grip.

"I will mommy, I pwomise." Swore the boy, looking into his mom's eyes with his own big brown ones. The ones that reminded the women so much of the love of her life; the women she hasn't heard a word from for almost four years, but why would she? With what she did to Santana she wouldn't be surprised or blame the other women if she never spoke or showed her face to her again. Which is why she's forced to keep tabs of the one she loves through other people's stories and the letters sent to her best friend and roommate, Quinn Fabray.

Speaking of said letters, as she goes through her mail she sees it.

Another letter from Noah Lopez not Santana Lopez, and its addressed to a Quinn Fabray not Brittany Pierce. She should be more then used to it by now, and even expect it, but it still breaks her heart a little more every time.

"Did Uncle Puck send Aunty Quinney anotha note mommy?" Asked the little blonde while trying to reach out for the letter.

"Looks like it baby, but we can't open it until Aunt Quinn does. You know how sensitive she is about her love letters." Joked Brittany while twisting her face up into a "yucky face" at the mention of the words 'love letters', making the three year old laugh while trying to make one of his own.

"Are Aunty Quinney and Uncle Puck in love like you and mama are?" Tiago suddenly asked, causing Brittany to pause mid step on her way back to their apartment.

"I think so baby, they've known each other for a long time." Explained Brittany.

"Longer then you and mama?"

"Not quite." She simply answered, not wanting to venture down this topic, but Tiago wasn't going to let it go so easily; not this time.

"So if you've known mama longer then Aunty Quinney's known Uncle Puck, why don't mama send you love letters?" Asked Tiago with a tilt to his little head.

It was the cutest thing Brittany's ever seen him do, but yet the most hurtful, because it was far too close to being an exact replica of a young Santana and that cut Brittany deeper than anything ever imaginable; every reminder of the older women did.

"That my baby boy is a genius question that only your mama and I know the answer to and an answer that you don't ever need to worry about. All you need to know is that your mama loves you and misses you deeply and hopefully one day soon she'll send you your very own love letter telling you all these things."

"Really?!" Asked Tiago, his eyes becoming double their original size.

"Of course baby. Any day now." Brittany hated to get his hopes up, and her own; it had been almost four years with no communication coming directly from Santana to her or their son, but a girl has to dream. And if a little false hope could get a smile that big on her son's face, then she figured she could spread it a little bit longer.

"Here baby let mommy open the door." Brittany told him while putting him down and unlocking the door, which he immediately bolted through.

"Aunty Quinney! Aunty Quinney! Guess what we got for yoooouuu?!" Asked Tiago while bouncing up and down in front of Quinn, who was in their kitchen cooking dinner.

"Umm…. A kiss?!" Quinn asked while bending down and attacking the boy's face with multiple kisses causing him to squeal with joy.

"Aunty stop! That tickles!" He laughed, covering his face with his chubby hands.

"That's why I'm not stopping!" She confessed, pulling his hands away to attack with more kisses. Brittany stood back laughing at the scene in front of her; wondering if Santana would have did things like this with their son if she were here. If this is what their life together could have consisted of; family bonding with laughs and fun.

"Aunty stop. Don't you wanna know what we got for you?" Asked Tiago between more laughs.

"Aww fine, you win." Said Quinn while stopping her ambush on the small boy. She was kind of curious to find out what it is they had brought her. "What you got for me buddy?" Asked Quinn.

"Show her mommy!" Demanded Tiago.

"Its PLEASE show her, Tiago." Corrected Brittany, stressing the please. Lately she's been really trying to drill manners into her sons growing vocabulary and personality.

"Sorry mommy. Can you please show Aunty Quinney?" Tiago asked looking up with his patent "Lopez pout" in full effect.

Brittany could never stay mad at that face, Santana's face.

"Umm Britt. Can you show me whatever it is you want to show me?" Asked Quinn, breaking Brittany from another one of her "Santana Trances".

"Oh yeah. Here you go." Said Brittany while handing over the letter from Puck. "It's from Puck, of course." Brittany informed her, but she wasn't quite able to keep the resentment and jealousy from her voice; Quinn noticed this.

"Still nothing?" She asked with sympathy.

"No." Answered Brittany with tears in her eyes. "But can I blame her? After the way we left things. After what I did!"

Quinn could see the first signs of what would probably be the hundredth breakdown after what was more than likely the hundredth disappointment at the hands of one Santana Lopez.

"Hey Tiago why don't you go play with your Legos buddy? Would you please do that for Aunty?" Quinn asked the boy, trying to get him to flee before Brittany lost control of her tears and her words.

"But I wanna stay and read you your love letter." Cried Tiago.

"Not now buddy, but if you go and build me the biggest most amazing castle ever, then I'll let you read me this love letter and all the ones to come."

"You Pwomise?" He asked, not wanting to be taken for a fool.

"I promise." She assured while ushering him out of the room, just in time for tears to begin falling down pale cheeks.

"Aww Britt." Coed Quinn while grabbing the Kleenex. "She's not worth anymore of your tears honey. This needs to stop, it's been four years with no word from her."

"I know that Quinn! Why do you think I'm crying?!" Yelled Brittany. "It's been four years! Four years of me sending her apology letter after apology letter and update after update and no word! She can ignore me and my apologies all she wants Quinn, but to ignore her son!" Brittany's angry sobs were now getting the better of her and her words were getting harder for Quinn to comprehend so she just nodded in agreement and sympathy. Something she was so used to doing during these outburst of emotion.

"Britt I know that what she's doing is all kinds of fucked up, but look at it from where she's standing. Shhh please just here me out." Begged Quinn, seeing Brittany trying to interrupt. "Britt right now Santana is at war. I know that we can forget that from time to time with us being so far away from it here in New York, in our happy lives. Doing what we want to do and going were we want to go, safely and freely. But Santana doesn't have that. What Santana has is surviving, commanding and looking after her idiot of a little brother. And I'm so sorry that I have to say this, but Britt with all that on her plate do you really think that writing you back is top of her to do list?"

Quinn hated to be so blunt and brutal but it was time to bring her best friend to reality, because it has been four years of nothing and to keep looking and hoping for something other than just that was beginning to branch into being ludicrous.

"It's not even about her writing me back Quinn! It's about Santiago! Her son! Taking the time out of her life to at least send something to him or even about him! Something to just acknowledge his existence! Is that so much to ask for Q?!" Brittany had completely lost it and for Quinn to say what she was about to say next was nothing short of suicide.

"It is if he's not her kid Britt."

Yep.

Suicide.

* * *

**Like I said before I know its short, but I did it because I want to update faster. Probably every two days. **

**Hope you guys liked it and where everything headed.**

**Please REVIEW.**

**-Love you all! **


	4. Chapter 4: F You!

**Chapter 4: F You!**

**Author Note:**

**Hey guys I'm sorry it's been so long, I've just been extremely stressed over where I'm going to college and how it's getting paid for but finally it has been decided! And it's Grambling State, full ride baby! So now that that stress is over I can focus on this story and nothing but.**

**I hope you guys enjoy and are still reading. And feedback is welcome and loved.**

**Thank you!**

* * *

**Chapter 4: F*** You!**

**Iraq: Present Day**

"I'm coming home  
I'm coming home  
tell the world I'm coming home  
let the rain wash away  
all the pain of yesterday  
I know my kingdom awaits  
and they've forgiven my mistakes  
I'm coming home  
I'm coming home  
tell the world I'm com-"

"Yo S Lo whatcha doing?" Asked Puck while flopping down in the bean bag next to Santana's bunk.

"Writing. Obviously."

"Writing? I thought you gave that up, you know when..." He was going to say when the whole Brittany thing happened: when she basically ripped your heart out, but Puck trailed off knowing not to go down that road again, especially against his "Staff Sergeant".

"Never mind." Is what he settled for.

"Smart move Puckerman. Smart move. Now why are you bothering me?" Asked Santana. She just wanted to get rid of him and go back to her depression and the outlet of that depression: writing and singing.

"Quinn wrote me, I thought you might want the update on what's new?" He half stated half asked. It was a big risk bringing up anything Lima related, but Puck figured it might do his sister some good to know that she has people who still love her back at home. Puck just wants her to realize that the sun doesn't rise and fall with Brittany S. Pierce.

"I don't want to know." Came the typical Santana reply as she went back to writing in her journal. But luckily Puck had prepared for this.

"It has nothing to do with Brittany I swear. It's all Quinn and the gang." Puck explained; he thought that would help make Santana want to read the letter, but it did just the opposite.

"Is that fact supposed to make me feel better Fuckerman? Because it doesn't! The fact that it has nothing to do with Brittany is the problem and it's what pisses me off! The fact that Brittany has not acknowledged my existence on this earth for almost four fucking years is the problem! The fact that she fucked me over and yet she's still all I think about! All I pine after! All I still wa- Ughh! Just fuck off Puckerman, because I don't want to hear about you and Quinn's fucking fairy tale!"

"..." Speechless. Puck was absolutely speechless. All this time he thought he was doing Santana a favor by hiding the letters. That slut broke his sister's heart, he thought. Brittany took his sister away from him! She's the reason Santana left Lima, left him, and never wanted to look back! Fuck her and her letters!

"Why are you still here?" Questioned Santana, looking up from her journal; glaring. But was surprised to see a glare of Puck's own looking right back at her.

"Fuck Brittany!" Puck shouted, finally beginning to snap. No longer being able to hide his feelings on the situation.

"Excuse you?"

"I said fuck Brittany!" He repeated.

"Yeah I thought I heard you the first time, but was praying I was mistaken. You're out of line Puckerman, so I suggest you leave. Now." She warned through clenched teeth.

But Puck wasn't backing down. He's had enough of this four year pity party, especially one over someone like Brittany. It was time he got his sister back. Not this heartbroken, spiteful, depressed, flight risk who believes she has nothing to live for just because her first love broke her heart.

"No San. I'm not going to leave. I'm going to tell you how I really feel. How everyone here feels! It's time for you to move on Santana! Stop dwelling over her! Stop ruining your life because of her. Stop taking your anger out on me and the rest of the squad just because some slut cheated on you!" The punch came fast and hard knocking Puck right on his ass.

"You will NOT talk to me that way Noah Puckerman Lopez! Not as your superior officer and damn well not as your older sister! But you WILL pick your sorry ass up off my floor and return to your bunk! Now Private!" Demanded Santana.

Puck knew this conversation would upset his sister and cause her to yell and maybe throw in some insults, but never had she hit him before. So with wide eyes and a bloody nose Puck pulled himself off of the floor and began to make his way out of her hut; his tail between his legs.

"Oh and Puck," called Santana, getting him to turn around. "If you ever talk about Brittany like that again I promise you, I won't stop at one punch. I'll kill you." She threatened, face hard and calm, which actually scared him more than her words. "Now you can leave."

Once he was finally gone and time had passed and the adrenaline the situation had brought her had worn off. Santana was left alone with her thoughts and memories. Memories that she's tried her hardest to never relive again, but Puck's words replaying in her head brought them back full force...

***Flashback***

**William McKinley, Graduation: 2009**

**"I give you the graduating class of 2009." Exclaimed Principal Figgins in his typical bored tone as everyone threw their caps into the air.**

**"Well you actually did it clustered nipples. I'm honestly and truly shocked." Santana teased while flicking said nipple.**

**"Congratulations to you too Santana!" Yelled Finn while bringing her into a hug.  
"Or should I say Private First Class Lopez?" Asked Finn, breaking the hug and even adding in a playful salute.**

**"Shhh! Shut up dumb ass!" Yelled Santana covering his mouth and looking around for a certain blonde.**

**"Oh my god! You still haven't told her?!" He asked, swatting her hand away. "Santana that is so fucked up! We leave in a week!" Yelled Finn.**

**"I know. I know. It's just that she keeps talking about how happy she is that I'm still in driving distance and that I'm not going too far away and how she wants to come visit and vice versa! How the hell am I supposed to tell her that I'm going to fucking Iraq! To fucking war! Who knows if I'll come back. This is Brittany not Rachael. You know how she is about the whole war and violence thing. Not to mention being "left behind"! I can't do it Finn! Not to her, not Britt."**

**"You just did." Came a weak voice from behind Santana making her heart completely drop. She could recognize that voice anywhere.**

**"Coming Rach!" Finn yelled to no one; quickly avoiding the train wreck he saw coming.**

**Fuck him, thought Santana as he disappeared into the crowd.**

**"Please tell me that I completely miss understood everything you just said. Please." Begged Brittany, tears already running down her pale cheeks.**

**"I... I... I can't." Stammered Santana, knowing that the lies have to end: today.**

**"I'm sorry baby. I'm so fucking sorry." Santana told the younger girl while trying to comfort her with a hug, but was pushed back: hard.**

**"How long? How long have you known? How long have you kept this from me?! Tell me the truth!" Demanded Brittany.**

**"Threemonths." She mumbled out in one breath while looking away.**

**"Look at me Santana!"**

**Santana did immediately.**

**"How long?!" Brittany repeated.**

**"Three months." Santana answered clearly now. "Look babe I'm so sor-." Her apology was cut off with a devastating slap across the face.**

**"Fuck you Santana Lopez!" Was all Brittany had to say as she turned her back and hastily walked out of the Auditorium.**

**That night Santana didn't hear from Brittany at all.**

**Sixty three un answered text.**

**Fifty six un answered voice mails.**

**And probably seventy missed calls until finally Brittany just turned off her phone.**

**Santana didn't actually see Brittany until four days later, when she had finally had enough of being ignored and wanted to explain herself, and hopefully save their relationship before time ran out; she was shipping out in three days.**

**So she went to Brittany's house early that morning and let herself in using the key she's had since they began dating three years ago. She had figured that with a sneak attack Brittany would have no choice but to sit and hear her out, especially with being in a "sleepy daze".**

**But after walking up the stairs and looking into Brittany's room it was Santana that had gotten a sneak attack once she had laid eyes on a site that stopped her dead in her tracks and left her dead inside.**

**She would and could never forget the image she saw; there, in bed, was her Brittany sound asleep and cuddled up with one Sam Evans. Naked.**

***End Flashback***

"Fuck you Brittany Pierce!" Santana yelled into the room while throwing her journal against the opposite wall.

"Fuck you!"

* * *

**Liked or disliked?**

**Please REVIEW and thank you for reading!**

**-Love you all!**


	5. Chapter 5: Different Worlds

**In this chapter I wanted to try something new by switching between Brittany in New York and Santana in Iraq. Everything is happening at the same time though so keep that in mind. I hope you guys enjoy and don't get confused. **

**And remember that feedback is much appreciated. **

* * *

**Chapter 5: Different Worlds **

**New York: Present Day**

"It is if it's not her kid Britt." Quinn blurted out, immediately putting her hand over her mouth once she realized how bad that sounded.

"What in the hell is that supposed to mean Quinn?! Santiago is Santana's son and I'm done trying to get everyone to believe that, especially when it's so fucking obvious! Just look at him! "

Brittany couldn't believe what she was hearing. Out of everyone who shut her out after her pregnancy was announced, she had never thought that Quinn would or could think like all of them; like Kurt, like Finn, like Mercedes, and like Santana's parents. Who just recently accepted her back into their lives, but have yet to acknowledge Santiago as their grandson, which till this day breaks her heart. Not for herself, but for her son. But if Quinn were to start thinking and treating her just like the rest of them and deny her son's other half as his own; she wouldn't be able to take it. She's already lost too much to that night.

"I know that B; you know that you never have to convince me of that. I'm just saying that Santana may THINK he's not hers Brittany and that could be why she refuses to write back." Explained Quinn.

"But the pictures I sent her of all his birthdays, it's almost like there Santana's baby pictures except for his blonde hair! How can she deny that? He has her lips, her nose, and even her god damn cheeks! I'm tired of people acting like the similarities aren't there! I know I fucked up and broke her heart, but that's not my son's fault! Santiago doesn't deserve to be denied by his family, because of one drunken mistake I made!"

At this point Brittany had completely broken down; over whelmed by all the emotions of rejection and hurt she's been keeping inside. That she's been trying to hide from Santiago.

"Aww Britt. Come here." Quinn commanded while opening her arms, which Brittany fell into immediately. "Britt I know that you've been through way more than anyone should have to at your age. Hell I'm twenty also and all I have to worry about in my life is when my idiot boyfriend is going to come home, because we both know he's going to do something to fuck this up. But you have a kid Britt; a kid that you basically take care of all by yourself while still going to freaking NYADA for dance and working at the diner. So I understand Britt, I'm on your side. I wish just like you do that Santana and everyone else would get their heads out of their asses for that amazing little boy, but until then you have to just say fuck them and swallow all the resentment you feel and put it towards being the amazing mom that I know you are. Okay?" Asked Quinn while running her hand through her best friend's hair.

"Okay." Came Brittany's quiet reply. "You always give the best pep talk speech things. Thanks Q." Brittany said while whipping her eyes.

"Anytime babe. Now can you please go make me food." Quinn half joked. "I'm starving."

* * *

**Iraq: Present Day**

"Lopez your squad moves out at 06:00 hour tomorrow! Be ready and be prompt!"

"Yes ma'am, Major Sylvester!" Replied Santana with a firm salute.

"Carry on then." With that she left Santana to think about what that means.

In just ten hours they will be moving out on a mission to siege a small village on the east and capture a courier who is believed to have played an essential role in resent terrorist attacks on U.S. soil; the man is also rumored to know where the master mind of those attacks is located.

This is the call they've all been waiting for, finally they are one step closer to ending the stand still in this war and possibly even returning home.

Santana goes to share the news with her squad.

"Hey listen up guys! I just got word from Sylvester and it's been confirmed that our guy is hiding in an east village and it is on us to siege it and capture him."

"Finally! We get to fuck shit up!" Yelled Puck while punching the air.

"Wrong Private Lopez. We do not "fuck shit up". We will go in clean, armed, and fast. Remember: we do not harm women or children, we do not kill unless one is armed and we do not under any circumstances kill the target." Informed Santana while passing around a picture of said target.

"Now the plan is to go in as quite as possible. The target is said to be staying in this house, there are two other houses behind it, two on each side of it, and three more up front. So basically forming a circle all to surround and protect the target's house; only affirming more that this is our guy. Now listen good guys, because this next part is where life or death will be decided so we must execute!" Commands Santana while pointing at a board with the lay out of the village.

"The plan is simple; we go in with our heads down. Our goal is to not have to fire a single round. To accomplish this we go for the target's home only. Finn I want you heading a unit going left of the target's house, while I'll head my unit going right; stay in the shadows, and do not fire any shots. We don't want the sound to blow our cover, and since we're out numbered we don't want this to turn into a shooting match! The target is said to live with his family only; he has three daughters all under the age of fourteen, a son that is nineteen, and a wife. Here are their pictures as well" Santana now began to pass out their pictures.

"Now if by some fuck up our cover is blown and we must fire, then we take stand in the target's house. There we will conquer it by taking out any possible armed men, except the target. You must be able to identify the target from the rest! He is 6'5, long and thin, with a clear face, and usually wears all black with a golden turban. If he is armed then go two shots to each shoulder or two to the knees; flesh wounds only. Enough to stop him, but not enough to kill him. We need him alive! He's possibly or ticket home guys! If his family is in the house; we will not harm them. We will tie them up and place them together. Once we clear the house of all inside threats, then we protect home front, and wait for our eye in the sky to clear ground. But remember that that's our absolute last resort. We want as little casualties as possible. Understood?" Santana asked her squad.

"Yes ma'am!" Everyone replied; all but Puck, which Santana noticed.

"Is there a problem Private Lopez?"

Yes there was a problem! Puck thought to himself. What a dumb ass plan! Little casualties? Why the fuck should we care about killing those bastards when they don't care about blowing up innocent Americans: including our women and children. But we're supposed to spare them, their women, and their children? Fuck that!

"Private Lopez? Is there a problem?" Santana asked again after getting zero reply. Her eyebrow was raised; daring him to go against her.

The whole squad was now turned toward Puck; almost daring him as well.

He chickened out.

"Umm... no. No Sergeant Lopez. No problem at all."

"Good. Now that you have all been informed and we are in agreement we move out at 06:00 hour tomorrow. Be prompt and be ready. Carry on." Commanded Santana as her men saluted her goodbye.

* * *

**New York: Brittany**

"Mommy when is Aunty Rachy gonna be hewr?" Asked Santiago; for literally the twentieth time, pulling on his mom's leg as she cooks dinner.

"Baby I already told you that she's on her way. Just be a little patient and please sit in your chair while mommy's cooking. I don't want you to get burned." Brittany told the boy while picking him up and placing him in said chair.

"But I wanna cook too!" He screamed, kicking his feet that were dangling above the floor.

"Not tonight Tiago. This is too hot for you baby, I don't want you getting hurt okay?"

"K." He answered back with a small pout; feeling rejected.

He hates it when his mommy makes him sit and watch, he always has to be doing something; he is her little helper he thought.

Brittany stopped cutting up the salad seeing his sad little face.

"Aww stop pouting. You know you're still my little helper. The bestess helper in the whole wide galaxy!" Brittany declared while pinching a chubby cheek, causing him to blush.

"Mommy stop." Tiago said while swatting at her hand with his tiny sausage fingers.

"I don't wanna." Brittany teased while pinching his other cheek as well, causing the little boy to giggle, and reach out to try and pinch her cheeks as well.

_*Ding Dong*_

"Aunty Rachy!" Screamed the little boy while squirming to get down.

"Mommy help!" He demanded after having no success escaping himself.

"What do we say mister?" Asked Brittany; not liking her son's manners right now.

"Please help mommy." He corrects.

"Okay baby." Brittany said, picking him up from his high chair and placing him on the floor. Where he immediately took of waddling/running to the door.

"Hey Rachael." Quinn greeted after opening the door.

"Hello Qui-." Rachael was cut off by a ball of energy rushing into her legs and wrapping their tiny arms around them.

"Aunty Rachy! Aunty Rachy!" Screamed Tiago while bouncing up and down still holding on to her legs.

"Wow! And what brings on this sort of hello?" Asks Rachael; a bit caught off guard.

"I missed you!" He simply informed. "Lots!" He added.

"Aww I missed you lots too!" She assured him; picking him up.

The two of them have always been super close since the day he came into this world, especially because Rachael used to live here as well, but ever since she decided to move out due to Finn possibly returning home soon, Tiago always greets her like he hasn't seen her in months. Probably because he's so used to seeing her multiple times throughout the day, but now with juggling classes at NYADA and being a broad way star, her visits have gotten less and less frequent. So now whenever she can make it for dinner this is the hello she gets, and she loves it.

"Hey Rach." Brittany greets finally making it into the living room as well.

"Hey Britt. Your little monkey seems to have found his branch." Rachael joked as Tiago began to hang upside down with her holding him from the waist. Now he began to make cute monkey sounds causing all three girls to laugh and a huge smile to spread across his face.

* * *

**Iraq: Santana**

"So who came up with that bull shit plan?" Puck asked Santana while following her into her quarters.

"..." Santana just started at him: arms crossed.

She still wasn't talking to him. She was still pissed about the stuff he said yesterday.

"Oh come on San. You can't seriously still be mad. I'm the one that should be mad! You could've broken my nose!" Exclaimed Puck.

"Correction Fuckerman: I SHOULD have broken your nose after the shit you said!"

Santana had zero sympathy for him; not after the names he called Brittany. No matter how true they may be; Santana still had some love for the girl. She always would. Brittany was her first love; you always have some kind of soft spot for your first. No matter how fucked up the ending was.

"Whatever Santana. That's not why I'm even here. I want to talk about the plan for the mission. I think it's dumb and I'm sure the other guys do too, but are just too scared to say something."

"No. They have too much respect and or common sense to not say anything. As should you, but you constantly seem to make the mistake of putting my title as your sister before my title as your Staff Sergeant and I'm tired of it Noah."

Santana explained with a sigh.

Having Puck here was proving to be more stressful then being at war.

"Look San I'm sorry ok? I know that we've been budding heads a lot lately, but can we please just talk about this? I mean I am putting my life on the line here for a plan that I don't even agree with. Wouldn't you have a problem doing that if you were me?" Puck asked trying to find some common ground.

"Yes. But I would respect those appointed ahead of me enough not to voice my problems. I would just trust in my commander enough to know that he or she would never willingly lead me astray. I've been you before Noah so don't talk to me like I haven't!"

"I'm not! I'm just saying that you should know how I feel so you should understand me wanting to voice my concerns with the plan!"

"And I'm just saying that your concerns don't need to be voiced, because I don't appreciate you undermining my plan. It is disrespectful to me as your commander and to Major Sylvester who approved this tactic herself!" Yelled Santana.

She understood where her brother was coming from; she was him at one point, but it is still disrespectful. Questioning authority is not something one does in the Marines. When Santana was a Private First Class and had to take orders from her Staff Sergeant Sue Sylvester four years ago, she never questioned anything Sue had to say, wanted her to do, or had planned. At least never to her face; in her head maybe, but never to her face. It's called having respect and it was about time Puck learned some!

"Look Noah, I get where you're coming from. I do. You don't like the way I'm doing things. I'm sure you want to go in guns blazing, throwing grenades, smoke booms the whole nine right?" Asked Santana, knowing her brother down to the T.

"Something like that." Puck admitted.

"Something like that?... Wow." Repeated Santana not believing her ears. Her brother could be so simple minded sometimes!

"So you want us to go in shooting up little kids who have no business being in a war zone, who probably have no idea a war is even taking place? Then you what? Want us to take the women out too as they witness us killing their babies? Unarmed women I might add. Women who unfortunately just got promised to the wrong man. Is that what you want Noah. Is that a name you want to give to the United States Marine Corps?" Santana asked. She was seriously beginning to question her brother's character.

"They do the same to us so why can't we return the favor? Karma." Reasoned Puck.

"Two wrongs will NEVER make a right. Always remember that Noah. Just because they do it to us, doesn't mean we should do it back."

"Yes it does! Why give someone a courtesy that they don't give to us?!"

Asked Puck.

He was not buying into his sister's wrong or right bullshit. He sees it this way; if they do it to me, then I can do it to them! If they think they can blow up our women, children, and men then lets blow up there's!

"Did the women and children in this village kill any American men, women or children?" Santana asked him.

"I-I don't know. Probably!" He answered.

"Probably? It's a yes or a no Puckerman. I don't kill people off of a probably. So did they? Yes? Or no?" She asked again, raising her eyebrow: waiting.

"No. Not that I know of. Bu-." He tried to counter argue.

"No buts Puckerman. We don't know if these people had anything to do with the reason we are here which is to stop terror. Not add to it or be a part of it. So no; we are not going in guns blazing, throwing grenades or smoke bombs. We will stick to the plan, YOU will stick to the plan. Not a single women or child dies and we do not shoot unless shot at first. Understood Private?"

"..." Puck didn't want to back down! He was as hard headed as they come; same as his sister. He didn't like being told what to do or not to do, especially when he believed that what he wanted to do was right.

"Understood Private?!" Santana repeated: her voice raised.

"Yes ma'am! Understood." Confirmed Puck.

"Good. Now you're dismissed Private." Santana informed him, wanting to be alone.

And once again Puck had no choice but to leave with his tail between his legs.

* * *

**New York: Brittany**

After dinner the whole gang decided to have a Netflix night and after getting just two movies in they were starting to lose Santiago.

"Hey baby let's get you to bed." Brittany told him while picking the boy up from the couch.

"Noooo! I wanna watch Meatball!" He complained while squirming; trying to get down.

He was referring to the movie they were watching: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2. But Brittany knew him enough to know that he was only being difficult because he was tired.

"Not tonight Tiago, we'll finish it tomorrow. Now come on let's get you to bed. You can barely keep your head up baby. I'll be right back guys." Brittany told Rachael and Quinn while walking upstairs.

Once she got to Tiago's room he was out cold so she gently placed him in his bed, tucked him into his Super Man sheets and kissed his forehead.

"Goodnight my little baby. Mommy loves you." She told him.

"Love you too." He whispered through his sleepy haze, causing a warm smile to take over Brittany's face.

"Night baby." She whispered, making sure to turn on his Avenger's night light as she left his room and slowly made her way back downstairs.

"No Rach! You can't tell her! She's already stressed enough as it is." Brittany heard Quinn telling Rachael causing her to slow her steps.

"I think we sort of have too Quinn. She deserves some sort of heads up; they both do. I know that Santana has cut all ties with her but we haven't." Rachael countered.

"Yeah but Rach this is kind of heavy. I don't think she can handl-."

"What can't I handle Quinn?" Brittany asked, making her presence known.

"I told you we were talking too loud." Rachael mumbled causing both Quinn and Brittany to give her a death stare.

* * *

**Iraq: Santana**

"Hey San can I talk to you for a second?" Finn asked peaking his head into her room.

"Yeah. Sure thing Finn. What's up?" She asked closing her journal.

"Well you know how once we get word on a mission we can video chat with family and love ones as sort of a goodbye. Just in case you know... we... well in case something goes wrong?" Finn asked trying to ease his way into this point.

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Well I talked to Rachel earlier. A little bit after you gave us the word and I told her that I would love her, always be with her, and that I missed her. But when I started telling her things about my safe deposit box and how to go on if something ever happened to me I broke and I told her..."

"Told her what Finn?"

Santana was kind of confused right now.

"I told her about the mission and the danger of it. Then she started asking questions about who was going and so I told her you were and now she said that she has no choice but to tell Brittany and someone else, because she doesn't want you to leave this world without meeting this someone else, but it's not her place or my place to get you to meet this someone el-."

"Finn stop!" Santana told him.

"Finn I honestly have no idea what the hell you are talking about! Who is this someone else? What someone else? I'm confused as all hell right now!"

Okay. Finn realized that this tactic was getting them nowhere, so he decided to just rip to band aid off.

"Santana have you received any letters from Brittany since we've been stationed here?"

"What kind of dumb ass question is that Finn?! You know that I haven't and you know that I don't like talking about this stuff!" Santana yelled not liking where this conversation was going.

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just that I was talking to Rach and she said that Brittany said she's been sen-."

"Look Finn, I'm glad you and Rachael got your happy ending and that you guys got your sweet little video moment, but I don't want to talk about New York or anyone that has to do with it unless its Kurt or Cedes. Now please leave me alone, and never bring up those traitors again! Goodnight and I'll see you in the morning. 06:00 Finn. 06:00." Santana said dismissing him and picking her journal back up.

Finn didn't want to leave it like this. He wanted to talk to Santana about the letters Rachael said Santana's been ignoring, but he knew right now wasn't the time. Overwhelming someone a day before they go put their life on the line is not smart. He wants Santana focused on the mission. Not New York, not the letters, not Brittany and not her alleged son. So he decided to just leave it; for now.

"Your right Santana. Now is not the time to talk about those things. I'm sorry. I'll see you at 06:00. Get some sleep. Goodnight."

And with a nod goodbye, Finn left leaving Santana alone with her thoughts.

Santana couldn't help but to think about what Finn could have been trying to tell her. Who was this "someone else" and what did Brittany tell Rachael she's been doing?

Damn it! Santana thought.

Almost four years later and she still can't escape the drama that is Brittany S. Pierce and her friends. She's basically in a different world and somehow Brittany still finds a way to stay connected to her heart.

She hates it.

But she kind of loves it too.

And she hates that she does.

"Fuck you Samuel Evans. Fuck you." Santana whispers into the darkness as she closes her eyes and prepares for tomorrow.

* * *

**So did you guys like the switching back and forth between the two? I did it because I wanted to show just how different their worlds are right now and their lives. So I hope you guys enjoyed it and understood it.**

**Please REVIEW**

**-Love you all**


	6. Chapter 6: Goodbye

Author's Note:

So in this chapter I wanted to show you guys the confrontation between Brittany and Santana after the whole Sam incident. Next chapter I'll go back to switching between the two and it will be longer.

I hope you guys enjoy and feedback is much appreciated.

\- Thanks!

* * *

**Chapter Six: Goodbye**

**New York: Brittany**

"I told you we were talking too loud." Rachael mumbled causing both Quinn and Brittany to give her a death stare.

"Shut up Rachael." Quinn commanded.

"No talk Racheal. What were you guys talking about?" Brittany asked while looking between her two best friends. "And please don't lie." She added seeing them look at one another; avoiding her eyes.

"We... we were... umm... just... jus-"

"For the love of God Quinn!" Rachael exclaimed; sick of her friends stuttering.

"We were talking about a video chat that I had with Finn before I arrived, which was why I was tardy, which I do apologize for. It's so un like me to be la-"

"Rachael! What video chat?" Brittany asked, cutting off Rachel's rant.

"Finn video chatted me, because his squad got a mission...a dangerous one."

Rachael partly explained. She was trying hard to not bring Santana into the conversation. She didn't know if she could take knowing Santana may die without ever meeting Santiago and without ever forgiving her.

"Finn's squad? ... Meaning Santana's squad...right?"

"..." Rachael didn't know how to approach this topic so she remained silent, causing Brittany to look at Quinn.

"..." Quinn had nothing either. How does someone tell their best friend that the mother of their son and love of their life may die?

Santana might die without ever acknowledging their son's existence, without their son ever meeting his other mom, and Santana might die with the same hate for Brittany. They'll never get their happy ending, their family, their wedding, not even a friendship. These are all the thoughts that were running through Brittany's head.

"I can't lose her. Not again..."

* * *

***Flashback***

**Lima, Ohio: 2009 **

"San please just stop and talk to me! I'm sorry! Please don't leave me!" Brittany yelled while sobbing and grabbing Santana to stop her frantic packing.

"I don't want to talk to you! You're not worth my time or any more of my tears! You shouldn't even be here! I told my mom not to let you in!"

Santana was now packing all her clothes and necessities into her suitcase. She was leaving to training camp in Texas in the morning, then from there she would wait for where she would be stationed in Iraq. It was time she cut all ties with this shit hole of a town. The only thing that could have brought her back ripped her heart out.

"San I'm sorry! Nothing happened! Just stop and talk to me please San!" Brittany was desperate to get Santana to stop and listen so much so that she went and literally sat on her suitcase.

"Move." Demanded Santana.

"No. Not until you talk to me."

"Talk about what Brittany! The fact that you cheated on me?! What do you want to give me details? Was he good Britt-Britt? Did he get you off? Was the fuck he gave you worth everything we had?!" Santana was livid and the more they talked the more she wanted to just punch someone.

"No! I was drunk. I'm so sorry Santana. I love you not Sam. I don't want Sam! I was just upset and hurting and I missed you. I missed us so I went to some party Quinn invited me to. I was trying to take my mind off our drama and the fact that you were leaving me. So I got drunk, then next thing I know I'm in my bed naked with you beating up a naked Sam. Please San we can get passed this. I love you and only you."

Throughout Brittany's "explanation" all Santana could do was cry and try not to throw up at the thought of Samuel fucking Evans thrusting into her girlfriend, being inside her girlfriend; her sweet and innocent girlfriend.

Ex-girlfriend.

"So I drove you to fuck Sam? It's my fault. Me leaving caused you to spread your legs for that pussy lipped ass whole?! That's just great Britt. Not only did my girlfriend fuck someone else but I basically made her."

"That's not what I'm saying! You're putting words in my mouth!" Brittany yelled out in frustration.

"Well you put Sam's dick in it so it's been through worse huh?" Santana asked; sarcasm dripping.

Santana had never been so harsh to her before. Out of the eight years they've known each other she'd never seen Santana this mad, especially towards her and it was scary and hurtful.

"Santana it was a mistake. One drunken mistake. Please don't let this ruin what we have, what we built. We have a future together. Remember? After I graduate we're going to meet in New York after your tour. I don't want to do this without you; I can't. So please just tell me I can fix this." Brittany begged while standing up to caress Santana's cheek. "Please San."

Santana was torn. She's loved Brittany all her life. They were supposed to be each other's first and only. Now she was just Brittany's first; she would never be her only and that fact was tearing her apart inside.

"I can't." Santana told her while grabbing her hands, taking them from her cheeks. "I'm sorry but I can't forgive this. At least not right now. I loved you Britt. With everything I am; I loved you. You were my first and we were supposed to be each other's only but you took that away and I can't forget that and every time I look at you I'm reminded. So I'm going to pack and tomorrow I'm going to be on that flight and I'm leaving Brittany. I'm sorry but nothing you say can change that."

With every word she spoke Brittany's heart broke even more and it was evident in those big blue eyes; Santana had to look away.

"No. Please San, please don't do this." Begged Brittany.

"I didn't. You did." Santana told her while taking her hands away, which Brittany had in a death gripe.

"So I guess this is goodbye." Santana said trying to bring this heartbreak to a close.

"No!" Brittany exclaimed while latching her arms around Santana's neck and burying her face into Santana's scent. "Please don't leave me San."

"Brittany stop." Santana said while pushing the girl away. "Let go Britt."

"I can't." Brittany whispered.

"Yes you can."

"But I love you!" Brittany declared while clutching onto Santana harder.

"I know Britt. I love you too but right now it just hurts too much. I can't hold onto it and if you really loved me like I know you do then you'll let me go. It's what I need right now." Santana explained while rubbing the back of a hysterical Brittany, trying to calm the girl down.

"It's over isn't it?" Asked Brittany through her loud sobs. "We're over?"

"...yeah Britt... we're over." Santana admitted through tears of her own.

Hearing those words caused an even bigger flood to break from both girls eyes.

"Shhh its okay Britt. Just breathe." Santana soothed while stroking the younger girl's back and hair.

"I can't! Not when you're leaving me! I can't live without you San! Who's going to protect me from the jocks and Cheerios when they slushy me, or people calling me stupid when I say the wrong thing, who's going to draw a map of the school pointing out where my classes are and who's going to help me open my locker? I need you Santana. I'm nothing without you by my side."

Hearing just how much Brittany needed and wanted her was overwhelming, but she couldn't stay.

One: she had already enlisted and gave her word to fight for her country and even if she could back out her dad would never forgive her. Being a retired General of the Marine Corps himself, Santana's dad expected nothing but the best from his oldest when it comes to the Marines and serving her country.

And two: Brittany was no longer her girl. She felt like a stranger to Santana. Sam was now a part of Brittany and it was killing Santana inside. She couldn't stay with Brittany knowing that someone else has had her, touched her, kissed her, and been intimate with her. Her psych couldn't handle that, at least not right now. She needed time, distance, and space. The Marines would give that too her.

"Those things aren't my job anymore Brittany." Santana told her while finally breaking free from the girl's grasp. "I love you but I can't forgive this. I'm sorry."

"San plea-."

"No Brittany! No more pleases. I can't be with you anymore and I can't stay in Lima. I'm sorry but this is goodbye."

It was time to cut all ties.

"When will I see you again?"

"I honestly don't know Brittany." She really didn't. As far as she's concerned it would be a long long time; if ever, but she couldn't say that to Brittany.

"Well can I write you? Or something?" She asked not wanting to break all communication with the love of her life.

"I'd rather you not Britt. At least not so soon. Maybe a couple of months from now my feelings will change but right now I'm trying so hard not to hate you let alone write you." Santana explained. It may be a harsh but it was the truth.

"Okay." Was all Brittany could say. "I deserve that." She admitted.

She deserves all of it.

"Well... I'll let you get packed..."

"Thanks..." Was all Santana could say.

This was getting awkward.

"Bye San." Brittany said while turning around; her tears were still falling like crazy and she wanted to go somewhere where she could breakdown alone but before she could get too far she was yanked around and her lips met plumped ones.

Fireworks.

The kiss was brief but it was enough.

It was goodbye.

***End Flashback***

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**Present Day**

**New York: Brittany**

"I can't lose her. Not again... Not forever."

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**So I know it's short but I just really wanted to get something out there for you guys. I hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter I'll go back to switching between the two in present day and Santana will finally move out for the big mission! **

**Please REVIEW**

**-Love you all**


	7. Chapter 7: Saving Grace

Chapter 7: Saving Grace

Authors Note: Hey guys I'm finally back and for good, promise! I hit a rough patch in my life, but now I'm better and ready to get back to writing. I just hope you guys are still reading this thing, because I have plenty of ideas for it! This is a re upload PLUS A LOT MORE ADDED.

This chapter will focus on Santana's back story and explain more on what she's been through in Iraq. All mistakes are mine. I don't own these characters. Only Glee on Fox does. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy.

Also I want to give a special thanks to all those who reviewed and continued to review my last chapter even when an update seemed so far away and hopeless. Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart! Okay I'm shouting up now... bye :)

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**_Previously on Home..._**

**_"I told her about the mission and the danger of it. Then she started asking questions about who was going and so I told her you were and now she said that she has no choice but to tell Brittany and someone else, because she doesn't want you to leave this world without meeting this someone else, but it's not her place or my place to get you to meet this someone el-."_**

**_"Finn stop!" Santana told him._**

**_"Finn I honestly have no idea what the hell you are talking about! Who is this someone else? What someone else? I'm confused as all hell right now!"_**

**_Okay. Finn realized that this tactic was getting them nowhere, so he decided to just rip to band aid off._**

**_"Santana have you received any letters from Brittany since we've been stationed here?"_**

**_"What kind of dumb ass question is that Finn?! You know that I haven't and you know that I don't like talking about this stuff!" Santana yelled not liking where this conversation was going._**

**_"I know. I'm sorry. It's just that I was talking to Rach and she said that Brittany said she's been sen-."_**

**_"Look Finn, I'm glad you and Rachael got your happy ending and that you guys got your sweet little video moment, but I don't want to talk about New York or anyone that has to do with it unless it's Kurt or Cedes. Now please leave me alone, and never bring up this up again! Goodnight and I'll see you in the morning. 06:00 Finn. 06:00." Santana said dismissing him and picking her journal back up._**

**_Finn didn't want to leave it like this. He wanted to talk to Santana about the letters Rachael said Santana's been ignoring, but he knew right now wasn't the time. Overwhelming someone a day before they go put their life on the line is not smart. He wants Santana focused on the mission. Not New York, not the letters, not Brittany and not her alleged son. So he decided to just leave it. For now._**

**_"Your right Santana. Now is not the time to talk about those things. I'm sorry. I'll see you at 06:00. Get some sleep. Goodnight."_**

**_And with a nod goodbye, Finn left leaving Santana alone with her thoughts._**

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**Chapter Seven**

**Iraq: Present Day**

The time for Santana and her squad to ship out was fast approaching. This mission would be their most dangerous by far and the fact that she would be leading it was more than her psyche could handle. On top of that she just couldn't shake off her conversation with Finn. Who was this someone else she so desperately had to meet and why would Finn think Brittany was writing her letters? He knew damn well that she hasn't, because she only goes crying and bitching to him every week Puck gets a letter from Quinn and she doesn't hear from Brittany. If it weren't for the weekly letters with updates that she receives from either Mercedes, Kurt, or her father, then she would just tell Puck to never check her mail box for her again, but luckily some people still give a shit about her back home. She just wished that one of those people were Brittany. Even though everything between them went to shit, for a little while she still hung on to some hope that they could maybe one day rekindle their relationship and mend what they had. And if not a relationship, then maybe a friendship of sorts, but her pride wouldn't allow her to make the first move. But one day she almost did, she wrote the letter and everything, she just couldn't send it.

It was the day after she escaped death.

**_**Flashback**_**

**Iraq: March 2010**

**It's officially been nine months since she left everything and everyone behind in Lima, and it's been four months of being stationed in Iraq. After leaving Lima she had flew straight to her training camp in Fort Worth, Texas, which lasted an excruciating five months. It was five long months of constant 4:00 a.m. drills, mile runs, obstacle courses, and being demanded and yelled at to do things she never thought her mind or body would be capable of doing. But she did them all and she survived, she survived one hell just to enter another; Iraq. **

**Being shipped out to active duty straight out of training camp should be scary and unwanted for a lot of people, but Santana couldn't return home. All she wanted to do was escape and a two year contract overseas seemed all too perfect. So she signed on the dotted line and three flights later she was touching ground in the middle of a war zone. **

**Being on base wasn't the nightmare Santana was expecting it to be, the scariest part wasn't even the war, it was her Staff Sergeant; Sue Sylvester. **

**"Well hello Private Sand Bags," was the first thing she ever said to Santana. Her voice was like steel, her eyes were cold, her glare tingle inducing, and all that combined had Santana pissing herself. **

**"Umm... i-it's a-actually Private First Class... and i-its Lopez ma'am." Santana was never one to back down or be disrespected, so even though she stuttered her way through it, she had to correct Sergeant Sylvester. **

**Big mistake. **

**"I know who you are on paper Private! But to me you will remain Private Sand Bags until you prove to me that the title of "Private First Class" isn't just the product of your dad's nut sack! I won't be bullied into giving that title to an unexperienced, un-deserving, daddy's girl like you! I don't care how high ranked your "Papi" is or how much money he gave to the Sergeant Major under the table to make this happen! Are we clear Sand Bags?! Good, now get out of my face! You reek of un-warranted entitlement and oncoming disappointment!"**

**"..." For once in her life Santana was completely speechless. For the first time ever she had been out bitched and out insulted. Her high school HBIC days were official over. So she tucked her tail between her legs, flipped her hair and left, but not without slamming the door, of course. **

**From there things only got worse, because just ten days later she was already on the field and behind enemy lines. **

**The mission was supposed to be simple. They were just going to aid and feed a local village that was near the military base. The plan was to gain the trust of the locals so there wouldn't be any problems between the two when the military began to move trucks full of supplies in and out of the base through a road less than a mile off of the village. Everything was going smoothly, kids were laughing and playing, and their parents and other adults were loading up on free food and supplies courtesy of the United States Marine Corps. The lines had successfully began to blur and it seemed as if an alliance was forming. **

**Everyone seemed to be letting their guard down. **

**Huge mistake. **

**Looking around at the young children laughing and playing. Soldiers handing out food, blankets, toys, pots and pans. The villagers bowing and praising them as if they were heroes in thanks. In that moment Santana understood why she wanted to be here. This is why she gave up her cheer leading scholarship to Louisville, this is why her dad was her true hero that she desperately wanted to be like, because he was a part of this. He allowed and enabled her to be part of this; part of making a difference and putting these looks of joy and hope on people's faces, people less fortunate. People just caught between the fire lines. **

**Santana was so overcome with different emotions that a lone tear began to slip down her cheek; she was quick to whip it. Not wanting to show any weakens being the only girl in the troop. **

**"You play?" Asked a little village girl while holding up her new soccer ball to Santana. Santana had been so caught up in the beauty of the moment she's just realizing that she wasn't even taking part in it. **

**"Sure," she answered with a smile while taking the ball from the little girl and walking with her down a trail that led a little ways from the main area of the village. **

**The trail ended in a large dirt field that was filled with a few village children playing with their new footballs, baseballs, basketballs, tennis balls, and soccer balls. **

**Once they found a little area to themselves Santana put the ball down and kicked it to the little girl and waited for her to kick it back. **

**"What's your name cutie pie?" Asked Santana. **

**"F-Fadia." Came the girl's quiet response with a hint of a blush forming on her cheeks. "It mean savior. My father say I'm his saving grace. His savior." She explained, kicking the ball back to Santana.**

**"That's very sweet of him and a very pretty name." Commented Santana, kicking the ball back to Fadia. **

**"Thank you. He's my favorite!" Exclaimed Fadia with a huge gapped tooth grin. "What your name ma'am?" Asked Fadia while kicking the ball back to Santana. **

**"Santana, but my friends call me San."**

**"May I call you San?" Fadia shyly asks while looking down.**

**"Of course sweetie." Smiled Santana, "I mean only friends play kick ball together right?" Asked Santana while kicking said ball back to her new friend. **

**"Right!" Yelled Fadia, kicking the ball extra hard in all her excitement, catching Santana off guard and causing the ball to go straight by her and down a hill.**

**"My ball!" Fadia yelled while giving chase to it. **

**"Fadia wait!" Commanded Santana while running after the girl.**

**Santana didn't know it in that moment, but chasing after that soccer ball and that little girl saved her life, because just as she made it to the bottom of the hill a huge BOOM sounded around the village and with the cat like reflexes her training endowed her with she quickly grabbed the little girl by the arm, dragged her to the ground and covered her small body with her own.**

**Later on she would find out that the source of that boom came from an explosive back in the village.**

**No one could have predicted it, let alone prevent it. **

**An Arabic man, who believed in and followed the terrorist movement had strapped a bomb to his own five year old child; his son. And as a soldier handed the boy his brand new soccer ball, the father hit the detonator.**

**Twelve Arabic women died. Fifteen Arabic men. Twenty one Arabic children. And all American soldiers, but one.**

**Santana Lopez. **

**After the explosion Santana woke up in the hospital. The explosion was so powerful that she had been blown back her head hitting a rock and knocking her out cold. She awoke with her father by her bed side with tears in his eyes and Fadia nowhere to be seen or found. She escaped with just four stiches across her hairline. After ample begging and pleading she got it out of her father that Fadia had indeed survived, but was moved to another village. That's all the information he was willing to give, because he knew anymore and Santana would find the girl and God knows what that would lead to. With a promise to her father never to search for the girl and a kiss on the head her father left. **

**Two weeks later she returned to base. **

****End Flashback****

Thinking of that day causes Santana to run her fingers across the name that will forever be tattooed across her wrist.

_Fadia._

Her saving grace. Her savior.

Nearly dying that day made Santana reevaluate her position in life and realize that she never wanted to leave this world on bad terms with Brittany so she set forth writing a letter to her, a mends. The same letter that she held in her hands now three years later, because she was too much of a coward to send it. She hasn't even opened it in all these years and now she thinks it's finally time to do so.

_Dear Brittany_

_Hey it's me Santana, but I'm sure you know that seeing as my names on the envelope. I know you must be pretty shocked to be receiving anything from me seeing as how we left things and what was said and done. Anyway I just want to cut to the chase and say that I miss you Britt-Britt, I really fucking miss you. I miss everything about you. Your hair, your smile, your beautiful eyes, your voice, the way you dance, but most of all I miss you being with me. I know with the way we left things and with what you did to me it must be surprising that I'm saying these things, but being up here, in this war has changed the way I look at everything. I almost died Brit. I should be dead but somehow I'm not. For some reason, by some power, or some kind of luck I was spared. I was spared and the only thing I can think about is you. All I can think about is the fact that I can't allow myself to leave this world with things being the way they are between us, so I had to write this letter and let you know how I feel and hopefully someday you'll write me back. _

_First and for most I want you to know that I forgive you Brittany. What you did to me should be unforgivable, but the love I feel for you is so strong that I can't help but forgive you for anything and everything. Sometimes I hate how much I love you, because this is what happens. Even if you rip my heart out, I still can't help but give it back to you. It's been that way since seven years ago when that skinny fourth grader with that fat, sorry, that "big boned" cat stole my heart and I've never wanted it back. I want us back Britt. I miss talking to you, confiding in you, holding you, just hearing from you. We've both hurt each other and I can see that now. I can admit that I played a part in us going to shit and I'm sorry for that. I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you about the Marines and that I let you believe all that time that I was going to Louisville. That was completely wrong of me. I also want to say I'm sorry for the way you found out. You over hearing Finn and me was not the way I planned for things to go down and please believe me when I say that I was going to tell you. I wanted to tell you, but I had kept the lie for so long that I didn't know how to come clean. I lied for so long, because I didn't want to hurt you and in the end that's exactly what I did; I hurt the both of us. But now I want to mend both of our hearts. I want to get back what we had. Without you I feel like I'm fighting this war alone; I feel like I might die alone and that's something I can't let happen, because I love you. I'm still in love with you and I just hope you're still in love with me and willing to give this another shot. If any of that sounds like something you might want, then please write me back. You can send it to the address marked on this envelope. I hope to hear from you Britt-Britt even if you don't want me back I still hope to hear from you. You're my best friend and if all you have to offer is friendship, then I'll take it and cherish it, because I need you in my life Brit. I need you with me. I need us to be okay. _

_Love Santana _

Reading that letter brought back too much heavy stuff for Santana and she couldn't keep the tears from falling. For the life of her she couldn't understand or remember why she never sent the letter. Maybe Brittany actually wanted those things, maybe she would have had them by now. Maybe she could have had a video send of like Finn or a letter every week like Puck. Or maybe Brittany's off living her happily ever after with that damn Trouty Mouth! And there it is, that's why she never sent it and why she's here, in her bunk, alone and about to put her life at risk again, but this time around the possibility of dying is so much higher. There are so many ways this mission can go to shit, too many ways.

With that in mind Santana walks over to her desk, sits down, and decides to write Brittany another letter, but this time she will send it! This time she's not going to let her pride or the thought of Brittany with Sam get in her way. If they are together then that's more reason to try and get her girl back, because fuck Sam! Brittany's her endgame and she refuses to possibly die without letting Brittany know that she never forgot that.

So with that in mind she sits down and begins to write…

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Thoughts? Yay or Nay? Also I was wondering if you guys want the next Chapters to continue in third person of should I switch to first person and show both Santana and Brittany's POV?

Hope you guys enjoyed the update. Also I tried to make it long as an apology for you guys. Next Chapter will be time for the big mission and I promise some Brittany and Santiago as well. Thank you for reading.


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